House hunting?

Be verweey, verweey quiet, I'm hunting...houses...((paraphrasing Elmer but you get the idea)).

The whole real estate, realtor ((reel-tour...lol)) gig, is, or can be, incredibly silly. There are Realtors out here in cyberworld who "brand" themselves by wearing funny hats, outrageous bad hairdo's, killer glasses frames, catchy-kitch-catch phrases, with those seemingly stock photos: you know the ones? Those with their hands cupping their chins or full-on profiles of them standing slightly to one side, arms crossed over their bodices in a manner to imply the deal is done. <sigh> Must I?

First of all...if someone had told me I was about to enter a profession that warrants, no, demands (!), obligates and requires current photos of me??? I would have politely but firmly sent my regrets. Is there anything more worser than having to have a full face photo made regularly? I think not.

I was in radio, remember? Behind the screen where it is safe to be stupid and drool into the microphones. Well...until you go big league morning show. Then you still get to have silly photos.

My first business card shows me in a senior-in-high-schoolish type photo with me kind of squinting in to the lens Eastwood-like. <sigh> I am unphotogenic. <sigh> One of the main reasons I learned to take pictures, studied photography?  So I could take the photos in any gathering and not have mine taken. Ugh.

Moving back to SoIL I got out my cameras at family events and found my niece, Celeste, (pictured above) also declined when I asked to take her picture, thinking, that she is unphotogenic. As you can see from her self portrait above -- she's lovely. I'd like to think I had a hand in showing her how to capture an image. And she's the gifted photographer I used when I needed some updated headshots last year.

So what does all this have to with real estate, listing houses and house hunting?

Plenty, my Precious, let me explain: Just like people can be photographed in wacky poses, with bad lighting, hokey-pokey-hurky-jerky styling? So can houses. And that can be very, verweey bad...hahahaha. Especially since a huge number of potential buyers first see your home on this here onerous device known as the internets. Ya know, like former Alaska State Senator Ted Stevens ( http://youtu.be/f99PcP0aFNE) so aptly explained: the internets is a series of tubes. Streaming into your computer, my computer, your neighbor's computer, stalker and troll alike now have your info on these series of tubes call the internet.

Which drives us back to this whole photos on the internet thing. Realtors can be savvy, professional, fact-filled, walking, talking, house selling machines!! But not all of them know what makes a good, clean, well-composed shot of a kitchen. Seriously, some Realtors should have their cameras taken from them with the warning if they are ever caught trying to fill a frame, they will immediately be charged with visual assault with intent to create ugly.

And it is not just here in SoIL's beloved EBOR MLS. Some of my favorites come from upscale video tours out of Dallas and Seattle. O. M. G. The horror! And a lot of these are listed for close to a million bucks!! But, Realtors being Realtors...they shoot the sites themselves and it becomes a project to provide a thousand laughs. Perfect examples of what not to do.

This happens, because, by and large, I have found Realtors to be an independent, sorta know-it-ally, competitive bunch of egomaniacs. Look at me...I blog!! I use social media like it's special sauce on a cheeseburger. Dude, I have met the enemy and they is us.

So...yea....I do take the best darn photos ever! I can do what others cannot. I am magically gifted with talents and abilities other Realtors don't even know exist in the Universe. YaHUH...YaHUH>

Honestly? What I won't do is insist my photo efforts are the best ever. I will change the photos around in the Virtual Tour and I do make sure there are some pleasant effects and catchy music. I want it to be pleasing. I want to entice the buyer to call us up and come see your house!

I do get caught up in the composition of photos, the lighting, the angles. I do try to make something aesthetically pleasing and, forgive me, artistic. I can't help it. I want it to be pretty. I want it to be inviting. I want it to say, "Come see me in person."

That being said. I do not want it to show better on the Virtual Tour than in person. I'm not trying to fool anyone. I won't try and make it look bigger. I won't try and hide things like window a/c. I like the photos to feel....interesting, real, genuine....True.

A few years ago there was a series of ads that said: "Life is messy, clean it up." I used to tell my kids, "Life's hard. Wear a helmet."

Life is messy. Life is hard. Life can be stressful.

Statistics show that buying/selling a house is one of the top five most stressful things you can do. It is up there with death and divorce. And the reason for this? Because you are about to outlay a substantial amount of money, time and effort.

For sellers this stress comes in the form of listing contracts and pricing the house to sell so it maximizes profits, pays off what is owed, gives you seed money for the future but doesn't shortchange you. It means making the most of, most likely, the biggest tangible asset we have.

For buyers it means finding a good deal. It means being able to see yourself in this structure. It means borrowing more money than you've ever borrowed before. It means finding...home.

It can be stressful - for buyers and sellers -- because it means making a decision and some people just are not good at making decisions. Making decisions, to some, means knowing absolutely what they want. This causes a lot of stress.

This idea of absolutes? Let's put that to rest. As my client, I have a few really good, tried and true ways to belay that stress.

Humor works. Honesty works. I do a lot of the legwork and homework on the markets for you and that works as a stress reliever, too.

Mostly I think just knowing you've found an advocate, a friend, a confidant. Someone listens and really hears what you say.

Sometimes it means finding someone who will tell you when you are mistaken and then explains why.

Sometimes it means having someone help you establish what you really, really want.

And sometimes, sometimes, it just means knowing what you don't want.